Post 1: You'll be Sayin' Wow...

You have no idea how excited I have been to comment on this video. When I think of mass-media advertising, ShamWow is practically the epitome. I'd have to say Vince does his job pretty well, because as soon as I first saw this ad on TV, I had the impulse to drive straight to the nearest Target and buy one. Not because I needed it, but because he sold it so well.

On that note, let me start off by saying that the salesman is perfect in maintaining a charming, colloquial tone, almost as if he himself were legitimately excited to tell you about some "newfangled device" he just happened to stumble upon. Another thing he succeeds at is making his points fast, perhaps too fast. With little time in between points, you don't have many opportunities to mull over each one, evaluate whether it is true or not (I never take any offers on QVC because, let's be honest, they talk at minimum speed).

I don't even know what a shammy is, but hold that thought while I watch Vince ring huge quantities of water into a casserole dish.

Another tactic the ShamWow commercial uses is vagueness. What line jumps out the most in the entire commercial? It's not something about how ShamWow works, not even the tagline "You'll be sayin' wow every time." It could be "you followin' me cameraguy?" but that holds little meaning. No, the most remembered phrase of ShamWow is "It's made in Germany. You know the Germans always make good stuff." He uses the fallacious Hasty Conclusion tactic: The Germans make good stuff; ShamWow is made in Germany; therefore, the ShamWow is a good product. Think about how incredibly vague that is; what "good stuff" do Germans make? Perhaps it is our own projection that adds meaning to this statement. BMWs and German chocolate are synonymous with quality, but is there anything else made in Germany that we hold in such high esteem? Not much. Our projection of German ideals holds little meaning (again, we would dispute Vince's claim if his pitch didn't give us temporary Attention Deficit Disorder). Another comical use of vague language is his claim that the test surface is "virtually dry." What information could that possibly give me? What does it even mean? Is it dry or not? That weasel word (I don't really like the phrase itself, so I'll call them WWs) is easy for us to blow past, but it really gives the claim no meaning. Virtually dry essentially means NOT DRY. But my use of essentially is also a use of a WW. Let's forget I said it.

We all know about the common "order now and you'll get" strategy. ShamWow definitely uses that one. After studying media for a bit, I actually researched this method. The vendor almost has to include double the product because they spend very little on production, and will make a profit regardless. Forcing you to order by phone also adds in the shipping and handling costs. Additional tactics I don't need to break down for you are inconclusive testimonials, distracting demonstrations, and the reification of the name ShamWow (the "Wow" holds no meaning but makes us believe in the product's power).

In conclusion, Bravo "Vince the ShamWow Guy." I am saying "wow" every time. But perhaps as a retort to the obvious marketing ploys used in the ad. However, I truly do love watching the commercial. I am thrilled when the cola flows in a deluge out of the ShamWow towel. I laugh at Vince's little jokes and remarks. I want to believe that a German towel will really solve all of my problems. Fortunately, I now have the critical thinker's conscience that reassures me that I don't have to buy it.

But c'mon conscience, it comes with a booklight! Let me have my fun just this once.